A burning smell and small amount of smoke seeps in under your bedroom door. You wonder what your roommate has done this time.
It turns out she got too caught up FaceTiming her boyfriend to remember her grilled cheese on the stove. Somehow, you wind up cleaning everything up and opening all the windows. You gently remind her that this was the third time this month she almost burned down the apartment. She gives you some puppy dog eyes, so you cook an actual dinner for the two of you to share.
After all, she always asks for help in a cutesy way, so you feel guilty turning her down. (And she actually is helpless). Her laundry day has now synced up with yours. You may have shown her at least a dozen times how to start a load of laundry, but still she somehow doesn’t get it. Is it really that she doesn’t understand, or is she too lazy to put in the effort to remember?
And no matter how many times you tell to her to pre-wash the dishes in the sink before putting them in the dishwasher, she still manages to conveniently “forget” that step and puts the dishes directly in the machine. Guess who gets to go back and wash all of the dishes once her load is done?
You really can’t blame her lack of basic home knowledge though; she did grow up with a very overprotective mother (that may or may not call a few times a day) and a maid.
She’s perfectly lovely, but well, she’s also a child. And while she may not be an actual child, she’s replaced her mother with you, the roommate.
Typically, this child is not the sharpest crayon in the box, and she tends to begin her sentences with “um” or “like,” and it’s not uncommon that they literally “can’t even.”
Every time you leave her in the apartment alone, you fear what the next faux pas will be. You dread her phone calls because you never know if it’s an actual emergency or a question that will make your head hurt.
She may be sorry about the fourth burned grilled cheese this month, but you’re barely hanging on.
Have a bad roommate story to share? Tell us in the comments.