It’s a classic tale: you two were best friends all through high school. You told each other everything and NEVER fought over anything. You already shared clothes, knew each other’s quirks (…right?) and obsessed over the same celebrities. You two were practically destined to be roommates and you’ve had all of your color-coordinated decor on a shared Pinterest board since you were 14. I mean, you practically lived in each other’s houses anyway, so a dorm couldn’t be THAT different, right?

WRONG.

It turns out that everyone was right about not rooming with your best friend. It’s just science. Newton’s lesser known fourth law states that best friends will remain best friends until acted upon by a stressful enough roommate situation.

But how did it get so bad?

birmingham-apartments-empty-refrigeratorIt started with the trash. You emptied yours when it got full; she let hers overflow. Candy wrappers and tissues surrounded her bed, which is gross but not really your problem (until parents’ weekend). It was a minor issue in your otherwise perfect situation. Why split up over an old, greasy, smelly McDonald’s bag?

But then came the groceries. You bought them, she ate them and she never bought more. You spent your hard-earned money on some Ben and Jerry’s, but by the time you were in your PJs and ready to watch Friends, it was half gone.

You can hear your mom’s voice in your head, “Honey, just talk to her about it”. But is ice cream really enough to have your first awkward confrontation over? Infuriating, but not necessarily a deal breaker.

Then came the kicker:

Right before you two moved in together, she finally started dating that boy from home she’d been talking to for months. He’s a great guy, and this is good for her. But is it good for you? She FaceTimes him for five hours a day with no regard for your presence or privacy or need to get some binge watching actual homework done. They are loud and giggly and obnoxious, and it seems that she has lost all capacity for intelligent conversation that isn’t about this boy, yet she confronts you about not spending much time in the room.

birmingham-apartments-third-wheel-roommate

The audacity!

And as if the five-hour FaceTimes aren’t bad enough, then he came to visit. The trash flowed into your side of the room. The fridge was bare and your wallet drained. They sat in your room watching (uninteresting) YouTube videos at full brightness and volume until 2am every night, with no respect for your 8am classes. When the videos finally went off, the cuddling ensued. And the whispering. And the whisper/giggle combo. And finally some, ahem, “questionable” behavior that forced you into the common room for the night.

This is not what you signed up for. You’re furious, exhausted and disappointed.

But surely someone else has it worse. Tell us about it in the comments.

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