You thought your collection of mugs was bad, but it is nothing compared to your roommate’s accumulations.

birmingham apartment nacho tray.

You’re not really sure why they have to have buy all the things on the Target clearance shelf, but they do. Included in the clearance raid was a pack of polka dot party hats, birthday cake flavored gum (ew), three boxes of drinking glasses and a nacho serving tray.

You are secretly excited about the nacho tray (because who doesn’t love nachos), but this is just another addition to the pile of useless things that your roommate hoards.

And, yes, your roommate hoards.

Their room looks more like a collection of old, new and weird items from days of yore than an actual bedroom. (Discontinued medical devices for $500, Alex?) And you aren’t really sure if there is an animal living in their room or not, but honestly, you probably couldn’t find it even if there was one. (Seriously, was that a cat or a box of yarn on move-in day? Has she said anything about Mister FluffyPants in the last month?) And when you brought up the idea of maybe selling/donating/burning some things to start fresh, you thought Roomie might spontaneously combust.

birmingham apartments hoarding clothes.

By the way, did I fail to mention that it wasn’t just random tidbits from Target in the apartment? You’re not sure if those are old strawberries in the refrigerator or furry, white creatures related to the possible cat. You didn’t know that non-perishable food items could go bad? Yeah, me neither. Ramen noodles turn into cardboard noodles.

It isn’t like they don’t know where the garbage can is because they bought it (on clearance and in a garish green). Irony? I think not!

For the hoarder, the best roommate is things, not people.

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Topics: roommates