We all know the grand feeling of anticipation that builds up in the week before your roommate heads out of town for the weekend … And we all know what happens next. Without your roommate for an audience (or potential witness), your full crazy can be on display, and we have a feeling it looks something like this:
The number one and most import part of your roommate being out of town is the freedom to walk, dance, eat, play or cook in your birthday suit. Say goodbye to your roommate and your pants, and say hello to the au naturel you. (Cue the scene from Broad City where Abbi proudly sings and dances around her apartment to Edge of Glory by Lady Gaga wearing nothing but a smile.)
2. Eat All Meals Directly From the Fridge
Much like not having a need for pants, there’s no need for plates or utensils when your roommate is gone either. Whether it’s after a night on the town or just a bout of laziness, eating directly from the fridge is a luxury few can enjoy with spectators about. But with Roomie out of town, you decide how and when you pig out. Indulge as you please — no one’s there to judge you after all.
Oh, the freedom of keeping the door wide open as you handle your business. Now your dog or cat can come in and watch you, like they love to do for some reason. Maybe you can even angle the TV towards the toilet or shower and take full advantage of this opportunity.
4. Converse With Your Pets — Out Loud
Sometimes a guy or gal needs to discuss politics, the universe, personal issues or whatever you think is going to happen next in Game of Thrones with their loving animal. If you’re lucky, they might meow or bark back. When your roommate is gone, you’re even luckier because there’s no side eye. (It doesn’t count as talking to yourself if you’re talking with an animal, right?) Another bonus: no one is around to make fun of your assortment of pet voices.
5. Revel in Your Own Filth
The roommate is gone, so why bother with picking up after yourself? Enjoy your newly created trash nest on the couch, surrounded by empty pizza boxes and beer bottles, and bask in your own well-deserved pile of detritus as you binge-watch whatever you so please. Have you ever noticed that the longer they’re gone, the higher the pile grows?
6. Listen To and Watch Your Guilty Pleasures
This has officially become a judgment-free zone (well, your pets might judge you a little, but that doesn’t really count). Relax, turn on The Notebook, and cry your eyes out. Or turn on some Justin Beiber and let loose — try to twerk and sing at the top of your lungs. No one is around to catch you trying to whip and nae nae.
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